Letting my light shine

I have photos for sale for the first time ever today. My work is a big supporter of United Way, and the various departments all do some kind of event to raise money. Our group is doing an art sale, with the proceeds going to the United Way. I took a big gulp and said I would submit photos.

Up until fairly recently, I have always been fairly guarded with “my” stuff. I might share my writing with a very few close friends and family, and my art with an even smaller circle. I have always loved photography, but have only really started playing with photography in the last year or so.

But I have heard this little inner voice, growing louder with each passing day, saying to me that it is time to start sharing myself. Saying I won’t feel complete if I keep all this locked up. Saying, Yes, this is who I really am.

I started sharing on this blog, story excerpts, photos, art snippets. Each time, I started to feel like I was finally listening to the voice I’ve heard for so long, starting to feel like I was becoming more and more ME. Feeling such joy in sharing things that I love. I realized it isn’t even about whether or not people like what I do (although I certainly appreciate and love and celebrate when people do, it still feels a little unreal sometimes, I guess there is still doubt that people will like my creativity). I realized where the joy was coming from — these were things that I LOVED. They are my little creation children and they don’t need to have anyone else love them, but they do need to have other people see them. Letting them out into the world makes me feel freer, makes me feel like I finally opened a door that has been locked for a long time and everything inside is so happy to be out in the light.

I spent Sunday printing and matting some of my photos. I felt such a thrill to really see my work, to see it alive in the world. I couldn’t stop looking at the matted photos, and I couldn’t stop grinning. I had done it, I had put myself out there, and no matter what happened, I was proud of me and my work.

I brought eight prints to work, and have already sold four, and the sale hasn’t even started! My boss went nuts over them, and has committed to buying three. My co-worker has also committed to buying one. I will actually have to reprint and matte more tonight, the art sale is for a few hours today and then again on Thursday morning. I couldn’t wait to call my Boy and tell him, and share how excited I was.

So thank you, blog readers, your kind words about my photos has helped give me confidence, and has helped given me the confidence to take it a step further than just sharing them here. I can’t properly express how much your feedback has helped! Much love and gratitude to you.

UPDATE: I sold about twice as many prints as I brought with me and as a result have to print and matte more!!  

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A day in Wilmington, NC (and a very happy mermaid)

We went on a great day trip today to the coast. Wilmington, at least the historic district, is charming and cute. And then went on to Wrightsville beach. I miss the ocean with every fiber of my being. It was so great to see the water, play in it a little (so warm, I really wanted to go swimming, stupid busted knee). But other than not being able to go swimming, I felt better than I have all week. I was able to walk around without much pain, and my hand was better than it has been. Not perfect, but at least I could shoot without much trouble. 

One of the highlights was this place called Kids Making It. It is a woodworking shop. Troubled teens, often referred by the court system, come to this non-profit to work. They learn woodworking skills from woodworkers who volunteer their time, and they sell what they make. The kids get to keep all the profits. The do really amazing work,and I got to talk to two of the boys, and you can see the pride they take in their work. I love that this program is teaching them a trade, building their self-esteem, teaching them pride in their workmanship, and helping them to earn money. One of the woodworker volunteers had shown the boys how to make wood bowls, how to go with the grain of the wood. I fell in love with one of the bowls, and I had already decided that I had to buy something to support this. It was the boy’s first bowl, he signed it for me, and you could tell he was really proud to have sold it. It is beautiful, and he could sell it in a high-end boutique if he wanted to.

Some photos to enjoy 🙂

I fell in love with this light.

I love old bottles, these were found while renovating the building, I nearly swooned.

When we buy a house, I want this gate and this door. 

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Healing

I am constantly amazed at our bodies. They are really brilliant machines when you think about everything it does.

My little skin growing army has been busy working on my palms and my knees. Every day when I change my bandages, I encourage the little army, saying Grow skin Grow! One palm is actually looking healed and no longer big and open, but I still need to wear a bandage on that hand for at least another day. My poor knee has a ways to go, since I pretty much took off the whole knee.

My anti-pain army has been busy as well, but they have a bigger job than my skin army. I pulled the tendon in my right hand (my dominant and writing hand). I try to be mindful of my hand and my thumb, and have been doing a lot left-handed, but every now and then I do something simple like open a door, and my little anti-pain army promptly yells loudly at me, saying HEY we are trying to fix you, can you not do that please? The army working on healing my knee sends me messages fairly often, mostly when I try to do to much walking or try to sleep on my right side. But that is getting a lot better too. Good work little armies!!

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ow

fell really badly running today. hurt my palms a lot, hurt my wrist and my forearm (and hurt my knees a fair amount but that doesn’t relate to blogging)

hurts to type. posts will be light for the next few days

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The many hats we wear

An Inspire Me Thursday post

We wear so many hats, so many faces, on any given day

I am a girlfriend/significant other/partner to my wonderful boy, T. In this role, I am also scooper of cat poop, cook, budget planner, shoulder to lean on, cheerleader, dog chauffeur, activity planner and suggester, tv critic, listener of dreams, WOMAN! (inside joke) and much more.

I am a daughter. As a daughter, I am a worrier about the future, health nag, a pleaser and much more.

I am a health writer for my day job. I am also web content publisher, reporter, note taker, polite girl.

I am a blogger.

I am a children’s book writer (even if none of them are technically finished yet).

I am a photographer.

I am a journaller.

I am a friend.

I am mom to MyraWonderPup and Sam the Kitty Man. I am playtime friend, nap buddy, wake up and feed me morning person, protector.

I am a runner.

I am a card maker.

I am a car dancer.

I am a mermaid.

I am a little kid.

I am a saver.

I am the bill payer.

I am a traveler, I am a dreamer, I am a collector of fairies and bottles, I am a napper, I am a plant killer, I am a squealer at bugs.

What hats do you wear?

Edited to add link to Inspire Me Thursday  

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Dear Earthfare

I think I am in love with you. I am certainly in joy and in happiness and in gratitude with you.

You see, you understand me. You understand food allergies — not able to eat gluten, not able to eat dairy. You understand that just because I have food allergies, that shouldn’t mean I don’t get to have good tasting food, or a variety of food that is convenient and tasty. It shouldn’t mean I have to eat globby, gooey pasta and soy yoghurt that I really don’t like, but that is how the other grocery store (that is closer to the house but doesn’t understand me nearly as well) treats me.

Every aisle had food I could eat….choices, something I forgot I should be able to have. Everything is clearly labeled what is gluten-free. You have a great selection of dairy-free things as well, including goat milk ice cream, which actually tastes like ice cream (something that soy and rice ice cream can’t usually achieve).

And unlike the other store, which I won’t name but rhymes with Bowl Dude, you actually have lots and lots of options for me. Not just one kind or one brand of something (looking at you, pasta aisle in Bowl Dude), but a wide selection. It wasn’t a challenge or an effort to shop at you, Earthfare. It was fun, it was easy. And  it made me feel like I wasn’t this special food charity case, that we’ll just toss one or two gluten-free options at and you’ll be grateful for it. No, you made me feel normal.

Thank you, Earthfare.

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Sunday Scribblings — Worst job

*Note: Picture has nothing to do with post title  

The prompt this week over at Sunday Scribblings is First Job, Worst Job, Best Job. As I’ve just recently written about what I want to be when I grow up, I thought worst job was a good follow-up.

When I was in high school one summer, I worked nights at a sub and pizza shop. It was really hot, no air conditioning. I have always disliked meat — the taste, the texture, the smell. I HATEHATEHATE onions. This was probably not a job I should have taken, but I did. When people would call and order anchovy pizza, I would tell them we were out or didn’t carry them because I didn’t want to smell them. When people would order subs with extra mayo and extra cheese, I would only put a little extra on (yes I admit I was judging them for wanting more of the really bad-for-them stuff). When kids would come in 20 minutes before closing, I would flat out refuse to make them anything on the grill I had just cleaned. It was hot, sweaty work and by the time I got home, I felt like I reeked of onions and pickles. 

But it gave me a greater appreciation of people who work in food service. It is a tough job, where you are often under-appreciated, so for that reason, I’m glad I got to experience life on the other side of the counter. 

A close follow-up to worst job would be the month I worked as a telemarketer for a driveway paving company. I had to call people around dinner time. I wouldn’t call people whose names I couldn’t recognize, because that just makes it so much worse, to mangle someone’s name and disturb them. I was always unfailingly polite, and if they said no, I immediately apologized for calling them. I still don’t know if I quit this job or was fired, it happened at the same time. I gave my notice, and the manager said they were letting me go anyway, because I didn’t seem excited about my job. I felt like responding, “I’m doing telemarketing about paving driveways. Of course I am not excited about my job!”

But that also gave me appreciation for a very tough, unrewarding, unappreciated job. I try really hard to be polite with telemarketers, as long as they are polite and don’t get pushy. I think seeing the other side of these jobs was an important experience.

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A very cool title

I love my brain, I really do.

This morning, I dreamed of this great title…

The Sins of the Magnificent Men 

Just the title. Thought it was really neat.

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Small random kindnesses

There is an old man, I think he is homeless, who sits at the end of the freeway ramp that is on my way to MyraWonderPup’s school. He never asks for money, but has a sign saying he needs food. When he is there, I will give him something that I was planning on having for lunch that day, a bar, a piece of fruit

Whenever I get something from a vending machine or soda machine, I will leave the returned change in the machine for the next person 

I always hold the door for people, even if they are four steps behind me

If I see a delivery guy on my floor, I will change my route and walk with them so I can get the doors for them.

I try to always find something to compliment people sincerely about..if they are wearing a great color for them, if they have on a cool piece of jewelry, something.

I wave at the school crossing lady every day on my way to work

What do you do to spread kindness, to make someone’s day a little brighter, a little better? I don’t do it because I believe what goes around, comes around (although I do), but just because I know that even little kindnesses can make a big difference, and I believe that they spread.

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7:05

Shot from my MacBook’s photobooth 

Sitting on my couch

Quiet

Myra, Sam and I watching the world get lighter

Sam is sleepy

Myra is sitting, still as stone in front of the window

Cat pjs and cozy socks

sound of me typing and the house breathing, now and then birds saying hello

A quiet, calm, perfect moment on a Friday morning

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