Happiness is a daily choice

I wrote that on a little inspiration card I painted.

I have it hanging in my cube at work.

I see it every day.

I know it to be true.

And still…I forget the simple truth of it.

I forget that I can choose to focus on things that make me happy, or I can focus on what is bothering me, what is bringing me down.

In general, I am a happy girl and don’t have much difficulty finding happy, joyful moments. Tilting my head up to the sun and putting my arms out to fly in the wind on nice days. Watching thunderstorms. Smiling at the flowers.

But still, even then, I can still forget that I can choose happiness. I can choose to focus on joy (go visit the amazing Brandi for all sorts of stuff on focusing on joy…she is the original Joy Rebel, and has the army to prove it!).

Things have been a bit challenging lately. B is unhappy with work. I am not in love with what I am doing. We have both been feeling stuck. And yesterday, yesterday was not a good day. Nothing earth-shattering. Nothing major in the grand scheme of things. But still, it ended up with me crying on hubby’s shoulder (which is something hubby shoulders are good for).

But the worst of it…I was only focusing on what was WRONG. It became all I saw. It felt like all that was there, it felt like all I could feel.

And then I remembered. Happiness is a choice. Happiness is something I can choose to focus on. It’s in my power. It IS a power.

And today, I did just that.

I’m wearing a fun head scarf and twirly skirty with black canvas sneakers today.

I drove in to work, blasting Keeps Getting Better by Christina Aguilera and Womanizer by Britney Spears, bopping along and singing at the top of my lungs.

I am doing a photoshoot tonight for Flying Mermaid Photography.

I set up some coupons for people who did free sessions with me to help me set up my portfolio, to hopefully start having some photo sales.

Choosing to focus on happiness left me not feeling so stuck, not so overwhelmed with what was bringing me down.

Nothing has drastically changed. What was bothering me yesterday is still there today. But I’m not making it bigger by focusing all my energy on it. And that made all the difference.

I’m choosing happiness and fun and joy today. And it is something I can always choose.

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Some happy moments from this weekend

B’s wedding ring came in yesterday. It fits perfectly, and looks incredible on his hand. Very him. I love seeing it on him.

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We bought a dining room table today, so now all of the rooms will be complete, furniture-wise. It will be delivered next weekend, and it is perfect for us. Not formal, a great place to gather and have dinner with friends or family, play games, talk and laugh.

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Getting to talk to my wonderful friend RM today, on her first mother’s day 🙂

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Standing out in the backyard, rubbing my puppy’s belly, while she rolled around in the grass and sunshine.

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Read Coraline by Neil Gaiman. Very creepy, but a really fun read, great lead character, and completely engaging.

I’ve been feeling very blah and frustrated and rather disgruntled today, so it was good to do this, stop and reflect on the moments of joy and light and fun this weekend.

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Permission

Me, and my wonderful friend Maggie, getting ready for my bachelorette tea party.

Everyone needs permission for something.

For me, I have never been one who needs permission to be silly or kooky or kid-like. I dance in grocery stores. I conduct Christmas Eve Sarajevo in coffee shops (while holding a latte…the song came on, I had to conduct, it’s required…). I go on swings or start twirling around for no reason. I talk to trees and give them big hugs. I am quick to tell strangers I am a mermaid. If a store has a little kid door, you can bet I’m going in it. I fly in the wind all the time. I often use my super-secret James Bond sneak walk with finger guns when I am walking into random buildings. I believe I magically open automatic doors when I make a big “open sesame” gesture. I will wear fruit stickers on my face while out in public. I have to stick my tongue out at every video camera I see.

And of course…playing dress up. I am a huge fan of playing dress up. So having a tea party with boas and fancy hats and crazy glasses was the natural way for me to have a bachelorette party.

After the tea party, I kept my boa and glasses on as we wandered around a street festival. I love watching reactions to stuff like this. Some people try not to stare. Some people look and smile a little. And then there are the ones I love the most, the people who just light up and grin, and say I love what you wearing, I would love to wear something like that. I should do that!

I encourage these people as much as possible. Well, why don’t you? Of course you should! Have fun! Celebrate your inner crazy, let yourself play!

I think a lot of people need permission to be silly. As “grown ups,” people feel like they are supposed to be serious. They have a fear of, what will people think of me? They feel too self-conscious. They think, what if I look silly and people laugh at me?

My answer here is….so what? So what if people look at you? I can guarantee a lot of them are admiring your guts to do something silly. I bet more are wishing “they could do that, too.” And I can guarantee you this too…being silly isn’t going to have you wind up in jail (I’ll assume you will keep your silliness in legal limits!). Being silly and crazy and celebrating your inner five-year-old isn’t going to make it so that the bank cancels your loan or you lose your prime parking spot at work. But I bet that it will make you feel lighter. Freer. Happier. Even if it is just for a few minutes. Go on. Try it. I double dog dare you.

So, this right here is me giving you the permission you are waiting for, for whatever you need permission for. You have permission to be silly. You have permission to *gasp* not be perfect. You have permission do something you have always thought to yourself, I wish I could do that. You have permission to try something new. You have permission to not be so hard on yourself. You have permission to make time for YOU, no matter how busy you are, even if it only five minutes. You have permission, it’s ok.

Now go and do it.

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Joy Rebel mission – create your own superhero

The always fabulous Ms. Brandi suggested that the joy rebel mission this week is to create your own superhero over at the Marvel site.

So, I took her up on her challenge. I would like you to meet Redd Fyre. She is a total badass, and makes me feel empowered just looking at her. Bad moods, ex-landlord hassles, ex-friends, they don’t stand a chance when they come across Redd Fyre. And oh yeah, she is totally rocking the bitch boots. My kind of girl.

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Candlelight for a magic spell

I am a mermaid in need of some magic right now. And all good magic spells should start with some candle light. And this candle is exactly the right one, as it is from a company called Maison (french for house, and as it turns out, I need house magic). The scent is pomegranate and mango, and let me tell you, it is divine. And the color is this lovely, rich red. Swoon.

Why do I need house magic when I just bought a beautiful new house? I need house magic for the rental house that we left. I am on the lease through the end of April, unless they rent it out before that. And I realize I have been sabotaging my own efforts by saying and thinking things like, I feel chained to that house, I feel like my work there is never-ending, it is the move that won’t end. I just mailed in the March rent payment, and have also been saying unproductive things like I don’t think they are going to give us the security deposit back.

No more. I am changing my focus on this. And asking for magic in the process.

Dear Universe,

The rental house came to me at a time when I really needed it, when it was either find a place to live or look at moving out of North Carolina, at least temporarily. This was my first week in the state, after a disastrous first rental house experience here.

Thank you for sending me the house when you did and letting us get in the house so quickly.

For the most part, living there was a good experience. I enjoyed living there, the neighborhood was nice and quiet, it was what I needed at the time.

A lot happened while I lived there, including some major life changes. And it all led to now, to when B and I were able to find this perfect, lovely, amazing home for us and MyraWonderPup. I’ve been here a month and this already feels like home. I am so grateful to be here, and for how the move fell into place.

Now, I need you to release me from the rental house. I no longer need it. I am not chained to it, we walked away freely, to follow an amazing opportunity.We are ready to be financially free from the house. I believe the house will rent quickly now. I believe we won’t have to pay any more rent, and I believe we will get our security deposit returned to us.

Thank you for all the blessings and assistance, with the rental house when we needed it and our new home, when we were ready for it. Now I am asking for your assistance to free us from the house that we no longer need.

Love,

The Flying Mermaid.

PS, Universe, you rock in many ways, but a special thank you for the snow day you sent today, it was just what I needed!

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Sunday Scribblings….I believe

The prompt over at Sunday Scribblings this week is “I Believe” and I just had to play along. I love writing out things that I believe.

I believe in sea goddesses and mermaids who play with dolphins

I believe in the healing power of the sea.

I believe in magic, and I believe magic is all around us, if you just open yourself to it.

I believe in the power of positive visualizations.

I believe in the power of karma.

I believe in love. I believe love is its own kind of magic, the most powerful kind. And I believe in love that can last through time and space and ages. I believe God, whatever he/she/it is, is pure love, magnified.

I believe in following your dreams. Especially if they scare you.

I believe you have to work hard for what you want in this life, but if you work hard and follow  your dreams, and live true to your heart, you will find what you are looking for, and you will find more than you ever expected to find.

I believe adults need to listen to the wisdom of children, and not discount it because they are children.

I believe the Universe will help you manifest what you want in your life, if you really believe in what you put out there.

I believe that we are here to shine, in our own unique way. I believe it is the true purpose of living — to learn how to let your light shine, and not block it or hide it or put it away.

I believe I am here to write beautiful stories, capture beautiful slices of life through photography, and I believe I am here to help others play.

I believe in fairies.

I believe that despite all the craziness in the world, I believe more and more people are beginning to shine their lights and this gives me hope.

I believe you need to have a sense of wonder about the world — about clouds, about trees, about natural miracles, about everything you see and even more that you don’t.

I believe you need to take risks, and push yourself in new directions, in all areas of your life.

I believe in dancing in the rain and walking barefoot on the beach whenever possible.

I believe in the healing power of art and of putting colors onto paper.

I believe I have many adventures waiting for me. I believe I will meet some of you on these adventures!

I believe in making people smile.

I believe animals can teach people a lot about love.

I believe in making wishes.

I believe in potential. Mine. Yours.

I believe in letting people know you love them, as often as possible.

I believe I would love to know what you believe!

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Inspiration cards

When I was done painting the paintings from the last post, I wanted to use up more of the paint I had on my mixing palette, so I started painting out little inspiration cards.

Work can still be play

My religion is play

Celebrate daily even if you don’t have a reason

Find your bliss and follow it

Don’t be afraid to start down a new path

All great artists started out unknown

Dreams are living, breathing things

Will you regret more the chances you took or those you didn’t

I want to start everything with love

I want to grow creatively

I want to be authentically me

I need art and water and sunlight to live

If you wait till everything is perfect,  you will never start

God is in small moments of joy and love

I want to color my life

My soul breathes with paint and photography and writing

Yes!

Yes to joy and possibilities

You always have the power to be who you want to be

You are living your real life right now

Magic requires passion

Be open to it

You have to believe in magic for it to find you

Start with joy

What keeps you going when things get difficult

If you aren’t willing to fight for your dreams, who will?

Starting over is always an option

Challenges aren’t always bad

Did you find inspiration today? I seem to have a theme going on here with the cards I created. I just sort of painted what felt right. I think I should start listening to myself more!

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21 day challenge

As of tomorrow, I have 21 days until my life is changing in a big way, when B moves down to North Carolina to be with me (swoon! Grin!).

And coincidentally, I have also read and heard that it only takes 21 consecutive days of doing something to  make it a habit.

So, I am going to use this time to establish a new habit for myself, one that will help keep me healthy, and will help me relieve some of the stress and tension that has been constants in my life for a while (see Every Now and Then I fall apart post). And it is a habit that will also have carry-over benefits for when B is here — gets me in the habit of getting up and going instead of wasting half the day lounging around, for example.

Starting tomorrow, I am going to get up and do some kind of exercise every morning, pretty much as soon as I get up. Running, walking with the pup and strength training, roller blading, trail running (those two mostly on weekends). I tend to be fairly active, but not consistently. And often I plan on running or something at night, and either I work late or I’m tired and hungry, and I end up not doing it. This way, it’s done, every single day, and when I get home at night, I don’t have to try to fit in exercising.

During the work week, this will mean getting up before 6 and lacing up my running shoes or throwing on some walking shoes to take the pup for a good long walk. In case it isn’t clear from this, I am not naturally a morning person. I usually get up with the WonderPup to let her out and give her breakfast, and will usually stumble back to bed until forced to get up and start getting ready for work. And on weekends, it can literally take me half the day to get up and exercise, because I will sleep later, have coffee, read blogs, play with the pup, and then it is noon and I still haven’t exercised yet. I still plan on sleeping in on weekends, but under the 21 day challenge, I will do my exercising first thing.

I’m sure I will have mornings where I don’t want to get up that early to exercise, but I’m hoping that with the challenge, I will motivate myself, as well as reminding myself that once it becomes habitual, it’s easy.

This isn’t about losing weight — despite how loudly the insecure girl in the mirror might try to convince me otherwise, I know I’m at a healthy (slender) weight. I just love exercising, feel better when I do it mentally and physically, and I just need to really make time for it.

So wish me luck! I’m excited to make exercising a daily thing, no excuses.

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“Every now and then I fall apart”

This is Domo. He is Japanese, and according to his tag, his monster-like features conceal a gentle soul with a body of pure fluff. He likes to watch television, and is messy, and his daydreams often lead to disasters.

He is also the crabby monster who has taken up residence on my chest, sitting on my heart, making it so that my emotions seem raw, open, and very close to the surface lately. For a monster of fluff, him sitting on my heart makes me feel weighted down, heavy, not light and bubbly.

Months of missing B have taken a toll on me, and it seems like every time we see each other, it’s even harder when we are apart again. And even knowing this is the tail end, that he will be here soon permanently, it is not easier, in fact it seems harder, because I just want the separation to be done and over with. It wearies me.

And then there have been the months of financial worry, of always being on the edge with no safety net, of always having to juggle money around to cover what I have needed to cover, and juuuuust barely somehow having enough to cover everything (which obviously I am grateful for) but feeling like there is no breathing room. That too sits heavy on me. And then there is the fact that my life is about to change again, once B is here. It will be changing for the positive, and I can’t wait until he is here, until we aren’t apart, and I am excited to start doing all the things big and small that we have wanted to do together. But it is still a life change and an adjustment, and living with B and SheHangsBrightly will have challenging moments while we all settle into a new normal, and even knowing things will turn out fine and we will have lots of fun and laughter as well as inevitable challenges, that weighs on me too.

All of this have left me feeling like a crabby monster, one who bears a striking resemblance to Domo. Teeth bared, ready to snap and bite, even when it is not called for (not that it is ever called for, but rather unprovoked snarly-ness on my part, I suppose). But I am still a gentle soul who isn’t used to so many heavy things swirling in and around me, and a Cancer girl whose crabby instinct is to scuttle to the side, and hide behind my tough shell. I don’t deal with these things well, and I feel I have shed my tough shell somewhere along the way, as Crabs do when they are growing, so I feel even more vulnerable than normal. Which makes the crabby monster on my heart even crabbier.

This is Domo trying to attack Myra.

But puppies have a good approach to dealing with crabby monsters. Check them out, see if they could be a friend, but just a crabby friend.

And if the crabby monster won’t stop being crabby, remedy the situation by putting the monster in its place — master the monster, so to speak.

And if that still doesn’t work, bite the monster on its crabby head and remind it to knock it off.

And that is what I am going to try to do as well and not let my crabby monster get so big and unmanageable. After all, he is only scary on the outside. Inside, he’s just fluff.

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Flying Mermaid, playing

Why, who’s that, hiding behind the flower?

Oh look, it’s the Flying Mermaid!

Giant birthday glasses. And yes, I’m going to buy them to wear throughout my birthday weekend (and yes I realize I’m blurry and the background is clear. Damn macro mode and forgetting to switch out)

Finding my inner rock star

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