Happiness is a daily choice

I wrote that on a little inspiration card I painted.

I have it hanging in my cube at work.

I see it every day.

I know it to be true.

And still…I forget the simple truth of it.

I forget that I can choose to focus on things that make me happy, or I can focus on what is bothering me, what is bringing me down.

In general, I am a happy girl and don’t have much difficulty finding happy, joyful moments. Tilting my head up to the sun and putting my arms out to fly in the wind on nice days. Watching thunderstorms. Smiling at the flowers.

But still, even then, I can still forget that I can choose happiness. I can choose to focus on joy (go visit the amazing Brandi for all sorts of stuff on focusing on joy…she is the original Joy Rebel, and has the army to prove it!).

Things have been a bit challenging lately. B is unhappy with work. I am not in love with what I am doing. We have both been feeling stuck. And yesterday, yesterday was not a good day. Nothing earth-shattering. Nothing major in the grand scheme of things. But still, it ended up with me crying on hubby’s shoulder (which is something hubby shoulders are good for).

But the worst of it…I was only focusing on what was WRONG. It became all I saw. It felt like all that was there, it felt like all I could feel.

And then I remembered. Happiness is a choice. Happiness is something I can choose to focus on. It’s in my power. It IS a power.

And today, I did just that.

I’m wearing a fun head scarf and twirly skirty with black canvas sneakers today.

I drove in to work, blasting Keeps Getting Better by Christina Aguilera and Womanizer by Britney Spears, bopping along and singing at the top of my lungs.

I am doing a photoshoot tonight for Flying Mermaid Photography.

I set up some coupons for people who did free sessions with me to help me set up my portfolio, to hopefully start having some photo sales.

Choosing to focus on happiness left me not feeling so stuck, not so overwhelmed with what was bringing me down.

Nothing has drastically changed. What was bothering me yesterday is still there today. But I’m not making it bigger by focusing all my energy on it. And that made all the difference.

I’m choosing happiness and fun and joy today. And it is something I can always choose.

Read Full Post »

Some happy moments from this weekend

B’s wedding ring came in yesterday. It fits perfectly, and looks incredible on his hand. Very him. I love seeing it on him.

********

We bought a dining room table today, so now all of the rooms will be complete, furniture-wise. It will be delivered next weekend, and it is perfect for us. Not formal, a great place to gather and have dinner with friends or family, play games, talk and laugh.

**********

Getting to talk to my wonderful friend RM today, on her first mother’s day 🙂

***********

Standing out in the backyard, rubbing my puppy’s belly, while she rolled around in the grass and sunshine.

*********

Read Coraline by Neil Gaiman. Very creepy, but a really fun read, great lead character, and completely engaging.

I’ve been feeling very blah and frustrated and rather disgruntled today, so it was good to do this, stop and reflect on the moments of joy and light and fun this weekend.

Read Full Post »

light and shadow

Without light, there can be no shadow. Without shadow, the light has no depth. Both make the picture richer.

Do you embrace both the light and the shadow in your life? Do you see the value of both?

Read Full Post »

I would like a little whine with my (non-dairy) cheese

Have you ever heard of, or read, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day?

From the moment he wakes up with gum in his hair, things just do not go Alexander’s way. At breakfast, Alexander’s brothers Nick and Anthony reach into their cereal boxes and pull out amazing prizes, while all Alexander ends up with is . . . cereal. The situation does not get any better at school, in fact it gets worse. No wonder Alexander wants to move to Australia! In Australia, everything is upside down, so maybe a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day can become a wonderful, terrific, really good day

I would like to go to Australia, please, for a chance at turning yesterday and today upside down!

Nothing really major is going on, so no need to worry, just varying annoyances that have left me feeling slightly disgruntled with life today.

Anyone up for joining me in Australia?

Read Full Post »

Art insecurity, and the joy

When I tell people that I have an art studio in my house, I invariably get comments like..oh you’re an artist, what do you do? Do you sell your stuff? One question was even do you have a patron?

These questions somehow make me feel like I have to justify my art. Well, I paint, I draw, I make cards. What do you paint? I kind of do inspirational stuff. Noo…I don’t sell anything. I don’t really have a style, I don’t really do a lot of “formal” stuff with proper subjects/perspective/technique. And somehow, it makes me feel like I’m not a “real” artist. I don’t sell it, I don’t “do” anything with it.

The real answers sound sort of lame outside of my head.

I love to play with paint. I love to play with color. I love putting colors to a page. I love making inspirational collages for myself. I love mixing colors. I find art to be a kind of meditation. I like trying to capture the images I see in my head. I like seeing what comes out when I start playing.

I’m not sure why that makes me feel like less of an artist. Just because I do it for me, and because I find joy in it, doesn’t make me less of an artist. Isn’t joy supposed to be at the heart of art? Just because it might not be professionally “good” doesn’t mean I enjoy it any less, or that I don’t love what I make (most of the time).

And yet, I don’t feel like this about photography. People ask me, oh, you’re a photographer? And I can easily reply Yes I am! What do you shoot? Anything really, but I love looking for beauty in small and unexpected places.

Just some morning ramblings that were going around my head today 🙂 Do you feel this way about your art, your creative stuff? Do you feel you have to justify why you do it? Or feel like you aren’t a “real” artist if you don’t do certain things?

Read Full Post »

Sunday Scribblings….I believe

The prompt over at Sunday Scribblings this week is “I Believe” and I just had to play along. I love writing out things that I believe.

I believe in sea goddesses and mermaids who play with dolphins

I believe in the healing power of the sea.

I believe in magic, and I believe magic is all around us, if you just open yourself to it.

I believe in the power of positive visualizations.

I believe in the power of karma.

I believe in love. I believe love is its own kind of magic, the most powerful kind. And I believe in love that can last through time and space and ages. I believe God, whatever he/she/it is, is pure love, magnified.

I believe in following your dreams. Especially if they scare you.

I believe you have to work hard for what you want in this life, but if you work hard and follow  your dreams, and live true to your heart, you will find what you are looking for, and you will find more than you ever expected to find.

I believe adults need to listen to the wisdom of children, and not discount it because they are children.

I believe the Universe will help you manifest what you want in your life, if you really believe in what you put out there.

I believe that we are here to shine, in our own unique way. I believe it is the true purpose of living — to learn how to let your light shine, and not block it or hide it or put it away.

I believe I am here to write beautiful stories, capture beautiful slices of life through photography, and I believe I am here to help others play.

I believe in fairies.

I believe that despite all the craziness in the world, I believe more and more people are beginning to shine their lights and this gives me hope.

I believe you need to have a sense of wonder about the world — about clouds, about trees, about natural miracles, about everything you see and even more that you don’t.

I believe you need to take risks, and push yourself in new directions, in all areas of your life.

I believe in dancing in the rain and walking barefoot on the beach whenever possible.

I believe in the healing power of art and of putting colors onto paper.

I believe I have many adventures waiting for me. I believe I will meet some of you on these adventures!

I believe in making people smile.

I believe animals can teach people a lot about love.

I believe in making wishes.

I believe in potential. Mine. Yours.

I believe in letting people know you love them, as often as possible.

I believe I would love to know what you believe!

Read Full Post »

Alive and well and busy!

Helloooooo out there!

I do realize I disappeared again (thanks for checking on me Jess!), but things over here in Flying Mermaid land have been flying right along, with a lot of good things to update you on!

B’s brother Aaron flew in Thanksgiving morning from his home in Seattle to surprise B. Aaron and I had been planning it for about a month, and Mik helped me come up with a plan on how to get Aaron into the house without B seeing him (it involved an elaborate scheme of telling B I was going for an early trail run on Thanksgiving morning, and me coming home, holding my eye, asking B to come look at it, because I fell and thought I scratched it on my run. B was convinced we were going to spend our first Thanksgiving at the hospital. Naturally, all this was a ruse to get Aaron into the house and on sitting on the couch before B saw him). B was completely, utterly surprised, and we had a really great three days of visiting with Aaron. I had met Aaron once briefly when B and I dated in college, but it was really nice to get to know my future brother-in-law.

Which brings me to update 2: B and I are getting married on May 23, 2009 🙂 (Disclaimer, technically, we aren’t officially engaged yet, as B hasn’t proposed yet; my mom keeps insisting we are doing things backwards, to which I reply that I have never been the traditional sort!). We knew almost immediately when we came back together again that we would be getting married. We wanted to get married on the beach, and even though we are here and all of our family is not, we decided it would be easier to get married down here. We found a wedding officiant and photographer (who is totally perfect for us) and he is available on May 23! I am actually sending in the paperwork and deposit tomorrow. I am so excited. It’s going to be a small, teeny tiny itty bitty wedding, we’ll be barefoot on the beach, which I think is just about perfect. And then we are going to Belize for a honeymoon! Wheeeeeeeeee! Now I have to start saving up the money we are going to need!

Other than that, there has been a lot of sickness going around down here, and poor Mik has been unwell for about a week now. I had a few days skating around the edge of it, but thanks to lots of Acai juice, coconut water and lots and lots of water, I skirted past it (and am once again grateful for a good immune system!!)

We are heading north next week for Christmas with the Flying Mermaid family, I am very much looking forward to seeing my family, and having B spend his first holiday with us. Of course, this means that I now have just a week to get all my Christmas shopping done for my parents. And, um, I haven’t started yet.

I haven’t picked up my camera in a long time, I haven’t done any writing or painting in a while, but I’m going to start picking those all up again. Maybe I’ll even play in December Views for a few days. I also have the idea for a small, on the side business of reviewing/editing/helping to improve resumes, and one possible service would be consulting with people who are interested in changing fields and helping them highlight transferable skills that would make them an asset for a new kind of position. This is something I have a lot of experience with, and something I know I am very good at. And the extra money will certainly be nice, not to mention the fact that I like this kind of work.

And that is the Flying Mermaid life at this moment!

Read Full Post »

Welcoming gratitude

I never really thought Thanksgiving was one of my favorite holidays — it is so easy to get caught up in the “Have to travel, lots of people on the road, blah blah” of it. And I’m a Christmas girl. I love the magic of the season. I love Christmas decorations and carols and presents, finding things I think the people I love will love to receive, finding out what Santa brought. (I know a certain Grinchette is gagging right now 🙂 ).

But in the past few years, I’ve really started to enjoy the simple pleasures of Thanksgiving — sharing food with people you love. Thinking of things you are grateful for, celebrating those things.

I have a lot to be grateful for, and I know it — B, my family, my parents working on their health and doing great with it, my mom doing SO much better than how she was at the start of the year, my good relationship with my parents, good friends, lots of love, lots of laughter, my good health, a good job, my creativity, sharing my life with someone who is creative and passionate and always wanting to grow and do more, a nice house to live in, a reliable Toaster car, Myra the WonderPup and the joy and love she brings to my life, a better appreciation of food as a result of my food allergies (I cook more now than I ever have, and I enjoy the food so much more), living in the South and not having to deal with New England winters anymore, being physically strong enough to rock climb and run through the woods, and all the magic and joy that finds its way into my life.

A couple of posts from blog land have really got me thinking and have been EXACTLY what I needed to read and to be reminded of”

This post that felt like getting a smack on the head from the Universe, and which I have printed out and have hanging in my cube and work, and will print out and make another copy to keep at my desk at home.

This post on my lovely friend Brandi’s blog (who is on this amazing journey to heal herself, and she just rocks the socks in all kinds of ways)

And this cd, which has many of the amazing songs that were part of President-elect Obama’s (YAY!) campaign, and the songs are uplifting songs of hope, intercut with excerpts from his speeches (and one from Martin Luther King Jr.’s I have a dream speech). It gave me chills the first time I listened to it, and it fills me with hope. If you want some inspiration, or just some great music, grab this. You will not be sorry.

Read Full Post »

Outside looking in

One of my friends on Facebook, someone I went to high school with, recently posted photos from high school. Most of the photos were from high school theater performances and productions.

What struck me looking at those old photos was how much time I spent on the outside looking in. I knew just about everyone in the photos, and I was friendly with almost all of them, but I wasn’t part of any them. I wasn’t part of any of the groups, I wasn’t close with any of them. Even though I was also in theater with them, I was still on the outside, superficially friends but not close, not baring my soul to them, or learning their secrets, or really ever having more than the most casual of conversations.

I think I have been like that for a large part of my life. In college, I had closer friends, some very close, and I was friendly with people in classes and in the theater department, but I wasn’t a part of them either. I have never quite “fit in.” A part of it is that I didn’t want to “fit in,” as it somehow seemed to equal conforming and being like everyone else. A part of it is that I didn’t know how to become part of the group — I am a girl who has always lived very much in her head, and buried in books, finding those worlds sometimes more real than the one where I’m walking around. And then there is the part that is shy, especially in groups (which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy actually). And then there is the empath part of me. I can pick up on people’s emotions, and I sort of take them on for myself. I want to fix people’s problems, I want to make them happy, often at a cost to me. Being around a lot of people can make me feel drained, I feel I give my energy away. But it used to feel like a failure. It used to bother me that I wasn’t part of a group, that I wasn’t close with any of the groups I was around. I was peripheral.

Today, I would still stay I am on the outside of groups now — friendly with a lot of people, but not in many inner circles. I think this actually works better for me. I am very close, and completely connected, with a few people (B and Mikki being the main ones), and I will go out and spend time with different groups, but I actually prefer it this way.

Funny what old photos can get you thinking about.

Read Full Post »

a lovely dream

I had a lovely dream the other night about setting up a photography studio. I was planning on doing lots of portraits, and I had a big basket of scarves and big flowy scraps of colorful fabric, because I wanted to do a lot with the material — have people twirl around with it, drape it over themselves, add color and fun to everyone. It was a dream that made me very happy and really got me thinking.

And as I am currently feeling lost in my life, it’s a nice anchor to hold on to, even if it is just a dream anchor right now.

Read Full Post »