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Archive for July, 2008

My challenge for myself started last Thursday. Well, technically my daily exercising started on Wednesday, but I’m going off of when I started getting up in the morning to exercise.

I ran Thursday, walked the WonderPup Friday and came home and did sun salutations, went for a trail run Saturday, took the pup for an hour long hike on Sunday, did sun salutations and some strength training on Monday even though I was really tired and didn’t want to get up (although I tweaked my neck doing some strength training and it is still not completely back to normal, better though), and took the pup for a good walk yesterday morning.

This morning, could not get up, was (and still am) really tired from not sleeping well. Just couldn’t get/stay comfortable last night. So, technically, I didn’t succeed today, but I am still planning on running tonight, so I will still get in daily exercise.

Several things I have noticed, just in a week. There have been several days where I didn’t want to get up early to exercise, but I was really, really glad I did. The fact that I set up a challenge for myself made me get up when I didn’t want to, and even after a couple of days, it was getting easier to make myself get out of bed. Today, however, I did know I needed more sleep more than I needed to get up.

I feel so much better starting my day with exercise. I feel like my energy is better and I’m more awake throughout the day.

I’ve gotten to say hello to the sun rising. Yesterday, I saw a fox and a bunny out enjoying the morning (and fortunately going in very different directions!). And it’s nice to have time for me when the world is quiet, when no one else but the pup is stirring in the house, and just celebrate letting my body move and feel strong and healthy. 🙂

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On a photo walkabout over the weekend

Follow the spiral brick road

A very cool, old, dirty door

This scene was just waiting to be photographed

Flowers

The giant acorn in downtown Raleigh. They drop this on New Year’s eve

A cool window display at ArtSpace

A cool house in the historic district

Thanks for coming on my photowalk with me!

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My work hosted a Family Fun Night at the ballfield recently, and I was asked to photograph the event.

I haven’t done a lot of portrait photography, but I really enjoyed the challenge and am looking forward to getting more comfortable shooting people and portraits.

Some pics from the shoot that I really liked:

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One walks along and flowers spring up at her feet

One can talk to the birds and animals and trees

One can call the wind

One is one with the sea

One can stroll along on the tops of clouds, seeing the sunshine that rides above the storms

One can gather those storms when angry

One hears the music of the earth

One brings joy through her dancing

They walk with me, they are a part of me, they are me. They are all women.

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As of tomorrow, I have 21 days until my life is changing in a big way, when B moves down to North Carolina to be with me (swoon! Grin!).

And coincidentally, I have also read and heard that it only takes 21 consecutive days of doing something to  make it a habit.

So, I am going to use this time to establish a new habit for myself, one that will help keep me healthy, and will help me relieve some of the stress and tension that has been constants in my life for a while (see Every Now and Then I fall apart post). And it is a habit that will also have carry-over benefits for when B is here — gets me in the habit of getting up and going instead of wasting half the day lounging around, for example.

Starting tomorrow, I am going to get up and do some kind of exercise every morning, pretty much as soon as I get up. Running, walking with the pup and strength training, roller blading, trail running (those two mostly on weekends). I tend to be fairly active, but not consistently. And often I plan on running or something at night, and either I work late or I’m tired and hungry, and I end up not doing it. This way, it’s done, every single day, and when I get home at night, I don’t have to try to fit in exercising.

During the work week, this will mean getting up before 6 and lacing up my running shoes or throwing on some walking shoes to take the pup for a good long walk. In case it isn’t clear from this, I am not naturally a morning person. I usually get up with the WonderPup to let her out and give her breakfast, and will usually stumble back to bed until forced to get up and start getting ready for work. And on weekends, it can literally take me half the day to get up and exercise, because I will sleep later, have coffee, read blogs, play with the pup, and then it is noon and I still haven’t exercised yet. I still plan on sleeping in on weekends, but under the 21 day challenge, I will do my exercising first thing.

I’m sure I will have mornings where I don’t want to get up that early to exercise, but I’m hoping that with the challenge, I will motivate myself, as well as reminding myself that once it becomes habitual, it’s easy.

This isn’t about losing weight — despite how loudly the insecure girl in the mirror might try to convince me otherwise, I know I’m at a healthy (slender) weight. I just love exercising, feel better when I do it mentally and physically, and I just need to really make time for it.

So wish me luck! I’m excited to make exercising a daily thing, no excuses.

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Some recent writings

Darkness comes rolling in on the wind

and sensible people hide and take cover

but the storm watcher has no fear

she wants to taste the wind

and ride it wherever it will take her.

She grins and waits to catch the storm,

on to her next adventure

— inspired by the way North Carolina thunderstorms roll in

And two things inspired by hiking in the state forest recently:

Just because you can see my roots doesn’t mean they don’t run deep into the ground.

**********

“Try one if you like — one of my pretty mushrooms. Some might give you dreams, some might give you nightmares, some can make you fly and some do nothing at all, but the only way to know is to try one. Oh yes, and one might make you die. Do you still want to know their taste?”

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This is Domo. He is Japanese, and according to his tag, his monster-like features conceal a gentle soul with a body of pure fluff. He likes to watch television, and is messy, and his daydreams often lead to disasters.

He is also the crabby monster who has taken up residence on my chest, sitting on my heart, making it so that my emotions seem raw, open, and very close to the surface lately. For a monster of fluff, him sitting on my heart makes me feel weighted down, heavy, not light and bubbly.

Months of missing B have taken a toll on me, and it seems like every time we see each other, it’s even harder when we are apart again. And even knowing this is the tail end, that he will be here soon permanently, it is not easier, in fact it seems harder, because I just want the separation to be done and over with. It wearies me.

And then there have been the months of financial worry, of always being on the edge with no safety net, of always having to juggle money around to cover what I have needed to cover, and juuuuust barely somehow having enough to cover everything (which obviously I am grateful for) but feeling like there is no breathing room. That too sits heavy on me. And then there is the fact that my life is about to change again, once B is here. It will be changing for the positive, and I can’t wait until he is here, until we aren’t apart, and I am excited to start doing all the things big and small that we have wanted to do together. But it is still a life change and an adjustment, and living with B and SheHangsBrightly will have challenging moments while we all settle into a new normal, and even knowing things will turn out fine and we will have lots of fun and laughter as well as inevitable challenges, that weighs on me too.

All of this have left me feeling like a crabby monster, one who bears a striking resemblance to Domo. Teeth bared, ready to snap and bite, even when it is not called for (not that it is ever called for, but rather unprovoked snarly-ness on my part, I suppose). But I am still a gentle soul who isn’t used to so many heavy things swirling in and around me, and a Cancer girl whose crabby instinct is to scuttle to the side, and hide behind my tough shell. I don’t deal with these things well, and I feel I have shed my tough shell somewhere along the way, as Crabs do when they are growing, so I feel even more vulnerable than normal. Which makes the crabby monster on my heart even crabbier.

This is Domo trying to attack Myra.

But puppies have a good approach to dealing with crabby monsters. Check them out, see if they could be a friend, but just a crabby friend.

And if the crabby monster won’t stop being crabby, remedy the situation by putting the monster in its place — master the monster, so to speak.

And if that still doesn’t work, bite the monster on its crabby head and remind it to knock it off.

And that is what I am going to try to do as well and not let my crabby monster get so big and unmanageable. After all, he is only scary on the outside. Inside, he’s just fluff.

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